This morning: negative home pregnancy test. Strike one.
This morning right before work: blood draw for beta testing. Negative. Strike two.
This afternoon at work: started my period. Definitive strike three.
You're out.
So yeah, definitely out this cycle, headed on to Cycle 11. I need to talk to my RE, since I think we are all on the same page that Clomid isn't working that well for me and we want to try a different protocol next cycle. I also want to ask him about Metformin and if that is a consideration for me or not.
On a side note, I really LOVE the nurses at my RE's office. They called in an order to Bay Med for my blood draw, since it's right around the corner from my house so I wouldn't have to drive to Saginaw today. They called it in "stat" - meaning that I would most definitely have the results today, and that I got bumped to the front of the waiting line. I am certain this was not a necessary "stat," but it sure was convenient for me!
I am really sad about this cycle, because I really felt like we had been getting somewhere with the timing and knowing for sure that I have ovulated when we think I did. I also just so desperately want a baby... I think about it every single day. Talk about workplace distractions, I can't tell you how many times I catch my mind wandering throughout the day. But the weird thing is, I just don't have a lot of tears this time around and I don't know why. I'm usually a crier about everything... but this time, I'm just not. I don't know if I am getting "used to" the disappointment or what, but my response is less end-of-the-world than it used to be. At least it is for now, just wait until I see another announcement or a little baby.
I suppose there is a Bright Side here. I do have some fun things planned that will be a great distraction the next few days, and they should be even more fun since I can drink. Tonight, Josh and I are going to an annual beer and wine tasting event put on by my work. Its usually a good time, and we get to try 6 beers and 6 wines that are different every year. Then tomorrow, I'm headed up north to Traverse City for a Bachelorette party. We are going to start with a wine tour, and now I'm especially looking forward to this wino weekend since I've been abstaining for a few weeks now. Sometimes you just need a drink, or four!
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