Monday, June 27, 2011

The Waiting Game

This was our conversation last night:
Me: Honey, why aren't you the one to bring up having a baby very much anymore?  You used to always initiate the baby conversations.
Josh: I don't have a chance.  Its all you ever talk about.
Me: Oh.

Its amazing how wanting a baby consumes my mind.  I think it has to do with all the waiting.... cycles take so long, this 2-week-wait feels like an eternity and it hasn't even been a week yet, and then in our case, it repeats month after month with a big fat negative.  I have always been somewhat impatient, that is nothing new.  Amazingly, I still have a very optimistic outlook - I am practically planning Baby's first birthday .  (Actually,  last weekend I did essentially plan Baby's baptism for next summer.  You know, if we have a baby in March.  Oy.)  Tonight, I have already done a little reading on breastfeeding (definitely the plan), some cloth diaper research (definitely considering it), and read a few birth stories (that is the one thing I'm NOT planning yet - barely even thinking about it!).

Besides the waiting, I think the hardest part is not really having anyone to talk to about what we are going through.  Very few of our friends have children/are having children yet.  And infertility isn't exactly the type of thing that comes up in conversation.  Its not like I'm walking around wearing this:
And I don't really want to talk to my family too much, cuz I want to surprise them when we do get the good news.  Hence the blog.  Eventually others will read these posts and that is just fine but for now, its my little outlet.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Our Little Alarm Clock

My internal alarm clock is rather dependable; I was up at 6:10 this morning taking my temperature without setting an alarm (my normal temp time is 6:00-6:15).  Generally though, I can get back to sleep for a little bit, even if it is only a light sleep.  Unfortunately for us, Lucy is not the same way.  At 6:30 this morning, she was up.  Josh got up to give her breakfast and let her out while I stayed in bed.  But 40 minutes later, she was at the bottom of the stairs whining again.  Apparently Josh wasn't good enough, and she just had to have her mommy.  Just the thought of those puppy eyes and I was down the stairs in seconds.  We rolled around on the floor, I petted her, she cuddled up on me... you know, what most people long to do at 7 am on a weekend.

I got up to check my reader and email, and by 7:45, Lucy was sleeping again (she glared at me when she heard me get up to get the camera).
Someone looks a little grumpy at getting disturbed... hmpf!

I'm glad one of us got some more sleep this morning.  Oh well, I had a long run to get in anyway.  I had Josh drop me off along the rail trail about 2.5 miles from the house, and ran out to the State Park and back for a little over 9 miles.  The run started out cool, but it got pretty warm a few miles in.  I was doing my best to stick to the shade along the way.  When I got back, Josh was headed out to take Lucy to the dog park.  Someone was ready to play again!

Week 2 of marathon training in the books.  22.51 miles.  Here's how the week went:

S 6/19: New Rules of Lifting for Women (NRoLFW*) Stage 2, Workout B3; HIIT intervals 2.0 miles, 18:00
M 6/20: Rest
Tu 6/21: 3.11 mi easy, 28:41, 9:13 pace
W 6/22: 5.0 mi easy, 47:14, 9:27 pace
Th 6/23: NRoLFW Stage 2, Workout A4; 3.21 mi easy, 29:37, 9:14 pace
F 6/24: Rest
S 6/25: 9.19 long, 1:28:32, 9:38 pace

*More about NRoLFW in another post.  I generally like the program, but the premise conflicts with endurance training (i.e marathon training), so I think I am only going to keep up with it for another few weeks and then find some alternative strength training to throw into the mix.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

"Motivational Aides"

Our RE wants Josh to have a semen analysis done before our follow-up in 3 weeks.  This is pretty standard protocol for any couple going though infertility treatment - we don't want to spend too much time/effort/money treating my issues if for some reason there is a problem with the swimmers.

So Josh calls today, sets up his appointment, and asks if there will be any "motivational aides" available or if he should bring his own.  Bawhahahahaha.  I just can't stop laughing.  And yes, I realize I'm acting like I'm 16.

And for the record, yes they do.  It doesn't sound like he was the first to ask about this...

Monday, June 20, 2011

Diagnosis, sorta

We had our first appointment with our RE (reproductive endocrinologist, aka fertility doctor) today, which was essentially just a consultation.  The doctor reviewed our medical history, looked over my charts and lab results thus far, and basically determined I most likely have PCOS.  We discussed our options, which included many more references to IVF than I would have liked.  The good news, is that I can most certainly get pregnant, the question is just how.  Josh and I have a lot of talking and consulting with Dr. Google to do before we decide anything.

After the initial discussion, our doctor wanted to do an ultrasound to check my ovaries (to confirm the PCOS diagnosis).  We were ushered to the ultrasound room, where we waited for a long time (30 minutes maybe?) while doc got side-tracked with another patient.  It gave me and Josh time to talk, while I sat there with my pants off covered with a paper sheet.  Isn't that how most couples have some of the most important discussions of their lives?

Anyway, the ultrasound actually showed that I have 3 large follicles (32, 31, and 27mm) and should be ovulating any day (great news, and somewhat what I expected since it was CD 20 and no temp spike yet).  Because of the follie size, doc couldn't confirm the PCOS diagnosis.  If I'm not pregnant this cycle, there is some additional testing we will do early next cycle to check my fallopian tubes and ovaries for normal shape and function.

So this ultrasound, it lasted no more than a minute.  And cost $250.  Jeez - if they started charging by the minute, that scan would be $15,000 an hour! 

After stopping by the lab for a quick blood draw, Josh and I headed home.  And I giggled like a school girl reading the instructions for his semen analysis in two weeks.  I can be so immature sometimes....

Monday, June 13, 2011

The 26.2 Plan

I started marathon training today.  I'm really hoping that circumstances prevent me from running 26.2 miles this year, but if there is no baby in my belly come October, I will be racing through Detroit to Canada and back.
The course takes runners over the Ambassador Bridge to Canada and then back to the US via the Detroit-Windsor Tunnel.  You then run out around Belle Isle before finishing.  I actually planned to run the Detroit Free Press Marathon in 2009, but severe shin splints put me on running hiatus about a month before the race.  I ended up running the Bayshore Marathon in May of 2010 as my first marathon instead.

I followed Hal Higdon's Novice 1 training plan the first time around, and as promised, he got me to the finish line.  This time I'm using his Novice 2 plan, which is very similar but includes some pace runs on Wednesdays and slightly higher mileage. 
Marathon Training Schedule: Novice 2
Week
Mon
Tue
Wed
Thur
Fri
Sat
Sun
1
Rest
3 m run
5 m pace
3 m run
Rest
8
cross
2
Rest
3 m run
5 m run
3 m run
Rest
9
cross
3
Rest
3 m run
5 m pace
3 m run
Rest
6
cross
4
Rest
3 m run
6 m pace
3 m run
Rest
11
cross
5
Rest
3 m run
6 m run
3 m run
Rest
12
cross
6
Rest
3 m run
6 m pace
3 m run
Rest
9
cross
7
Rest
4 m run
7 m pace
4 m run
Rest
14
cross
8
Rest
4 m run
7 m run
4 m run
Rest
15
cross
9
Rest
4 m run
7 m pace
4 m run
Rest
Rest
Half Mar
10
Rest
4 m run
8 m pace
4 m run
Rest
17
cross
11
Rest
5 m run
8 m run
5 m run
Rest
18
cross
12
Rest
5 m run
8 m pace
5 m run
Rest
13
cross
13
Rest
5 m run
5 m pace
5 m run
Rest
19
cross
14
Rest
5 m run
8 m run
5 m run
Rest
12
cross
15
Rest
5 m run
5 m pace
5 m run
Rest
20
cross
16
Rest
5 m run
4 m pace
5 m run
Rest
12
cross
17
Rest
4 m run
3 m run
4 m run
Rest
8
cross
18
Rest
3 m run
2 m run
Rest
Rest
2 m run
Marathon

In 18 weeks and 462 miles (give or take a few), I'll be ready to run 26.2 in a row.  But as much as I want to run my second marathon this year, I'm really kinda hoping that I'll just be running a half on October 16th.

Monday, June 6, 2011

DxA2 Race Review

Race: Dexter Ann Arbor Run, Half Marathon
Official Time: 2:01:44, 9:18 pace
Overall Place: 1434 / 3145
Division Place: 84 / 252
Sex Place: 435 / 1459


This race has been on my radar for a long time.  I spent 4 years attending college in Ann Arbor and Josh lived in Pinckney (just north of Dexter) for a few years after graduation, so I've run in the area in the past.  This was my second half marathon this spring, and admittedly I was less trained than I would have liked to have been for both.  I still PR'd the May half in 1:58:14, and I sorta kinda hoped this race would be even better since I kept up my mileage leading up to this half.  Before the race even started, I resigned to myself that it might not happen with the warm temperatures.

We stayed at my parents the night before, and decided to bring Lucy with us to the race.  These decisions are always up to Josh, since he is the one that has to drag her around while he chases me through the course.  I set my alarm for 5:15, and we were out of the house by 5:45.  I munched on a banana and bagel with peanut butter during the drive, washing it down with some G2.  We arrived in AA about 6:45, running into very little traffic along the way.  Josh hung out in a random corner lot while I went and registered and used a porta potty.   Registration was a breeze at this time, no lines or any issues.  I went back to the car, grabbed my gear and the rest of my food, and got a good luck slobber from Lucy before heading over to the bus lines.  These were fairly short as well, I was on a bus within 5-10 minutes or so. 

I finished eating as the bus took us out to the start, we arrived at the school around 7:30, for an 8:30 start.  I walked around a bit, and decided to get in the line for the indoor restrooms (they also had porta potties in the parking lot).  I then grabbed a small cup of water (they had water and Gatorade available at the start), stretched, did a warm-up jog and waited for the race to start.  I downed a packet of Gu then, and had one more saved for mile 6 or so.

At this point, I was realizing that the temperature would be an issue.  It wasn't going to be so incredibly hot that we couldn't race, it was just going to make a PR rather difficult.  Temps were just over 70 degrees at the start, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky.  Plus, this is probably the most difficult course I have ever run because of the hills.  I decided I would still try to pace to come in around 2 hours, and see what happened. 

By the way... this was a first race (first real run actually) with my new Garmin.  It rocks.  We purchased the Garmin Forerunner 305 off Amazon for $128... but used $100 in giftcards we earned through Swagbucks.  More on SB in another post.

So, just a hair after 8:30, off we go.  There was quite a bit of congestion out of the start, I struggled to keep my pace up for a bit, then I found a little more room to run and made up for some lost time.  As we were rounding the first corner, surprise!  There is my puppy!  Josh surprised me by heading out for the start of the race, when the plan was for him to see me at Mile 8 and the finish :)  He is such a great cheerleader, and picture-taker!
yes, that is a huge bruise on my leg, and I have NO idea where it came from

As Josh ran ahead to snap a picture, Lucy ran right along side him.  A lady commented on the cute puppy, and how she looked like she wanted to run too; I told her that was my running partner!  We chatted a minute or two about running with our dogs, which brought a huge smile to my face.

The next few miles were uneventful as we got through Dexter and out onto Huron River Drive.  My pace was looking good, and when I saw Josh again around mile 8, I was actually on pace for a PR.  But then the temp started getting to me.  I was HOT.  I was carrying fluids (G2) for this race, and started drinking in between the water stations.  Around mile 10, I started making deals with myself: run until you get to that shade, and then you can walk for a few seconds.  Run up the first part of that hill, then you can walk up the rest.  This continued pretty much until the end of the race, I ended up taking quite a few walking breaks - I think more than I did in my marathon. 
somewhere around mile 8

Then, I got to Main Street.  Ugh.  This half-marathon ends with a decent uphill!!!?!?!?  I see an arch of balloons in the distance and start running towards it as hard as I could.  As I'm getting closer, I realize - that's not the finish line, I still have another .2 or so to go.  Ugh again!  But now I see the real finish line, and use whatever I have left to get there.  No PR, not under 2:00, but I finished.  And I'm proud of myself because it was a tough course and tough conditions. 

My Garmin measured 13.24, which is pretty long, but running around trying to stay in what little shade the course offered kept me off the tangents, I'm sure.

I collected my medal, downed a bottle of water, walked through a spray tent to try and cool off, and then proceeded to wait in line for my goodies.  Some more Gatorade and a plate of cookies, orange slices and pizza later, I was off to find hubby and puppy.  This was an ordeal.  We missed each other at the finish, so Josh wasn't sure I was done or not.  Then it turns out, we were waiting for each other on different street corners.  I ended up starting to walk around, and saw Lucy in the distance.  I chased them down, gave Josh a nice sweaty hug, and had Lucy start licking all the salty sweat off my face :) 
fourth half-marathon.  check!
 
Overall, I thought the race was great.  It seemed well organized, the course was well marked, and the aid stations seemed adequate.  I do wish they had an electrolyte drink at all the stations, particularly the one at Mile 12, but they did communicate what they were going to have ahead of time.  There aren't a lot of spectators on the course (just a few areas with some), but they cheered loudly and the volunteers were awesome.  I do think they need to consider a wave start to alleviate some of the congestion in the first mile, and also maybe moving the start time up, even just 30 minutes would help.  Oh, and it would be nice if they just offered tech shirts to everyone, instead of charging an extra $12(?) for them.  They could probably use more porta potties at the start, but can't you say that about almost every race?  Generally though, this is a race that I want to run again when I get the chance.  The fee was reasonable (even for last-minute entry), and I enjoyed the course.  I will say though, that the weather can be a little touchy this time of year, and with a later start, perfect running conditions are not likely.

After the race, we headed back to the car so I could get cleaned up (i.e. towel off, change out of my smelly clothes, run a brush through my hair, put on a touch of make-up).  Lucy layed down to cool off for a bit, and had a good bit of water.  Then we all headed back down to Main Street for Taste of Ann Arbor.  Many of the restaurants in town set up tents along the side of the road and served some great food.  We paid for a page of tickets, then traded tickets for samples.  Our favorites were the fish taco from Black Pearl, watermelon gazpacho (Yumm!) from Melange, and the mini cupcakes from the Cupcake Station.  It was crowded and hot, and Lucy was sort of done, so we left after about an hour and drove over to campus.  We hung out on the Diag for a while, reminiscing about our college days, before packing up and heading home.

It was a GREAT day spent with the love of my life and my favorite puppy in the world.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

March 14th

Here we are, cycle number 8, and month 14 of TTC.  We have an appointment with our RE later this month, but with the guidance of our OB/GYN we will continue 150 mg Clomid this cycle.  Fingers, toes, everything crossed!

And, since I like to torture myself, I ran the dates.  I can't be the only one who, while TTC, enters the first day of their cycle into the EDD (estimated due date) calculators to find out when baby might arrive, IF we get pregnant this cycle of course.  I get March 7, 2012 if I ovulate on Day 14, but last cycle I ovulated very late (Day 21), so assuming the same happens this cycle, we are looking at a week later.

Then I go through and look at how far along I will be at certain events: 10.5 weeks for my cousin's wedding in Florida in August, 11.5 weeks for Josh's birthday and the Crim 10 mile race (totally do-able), 17 weeks for the Brooksie Way half marathon (very possible), 19 weeks for the Detroit marathon (will probably run the half instead), 24 weeks at Thanksgiving, 28 weeks at Christmas.  If baby comes 2 weeks early, we have a shot at the unlikeliest birthday of all, February 29th.  A few days late, and little one has an Irish birthday.  Either way, I would have a child before I turn 29 on March 31st. 

I've done this too many times before (a few months ago I was looking at a special 11-11-11 birthday), started planning my life around what I might or might not be able to do depending on how pregnant I might be, checking that damn calendar every time a new event arises.  Is it just wishing and hoping?  Am I a serial planner?  Or do I just like the torture of "what-if"?

In about 5 weeks, we'll know for sure....

Take Two

So, I thought I needed to get back into blogging again, since it went so well the last time I tried.  I lasted less than a year, but blogging recipes is a lot of work.  Especially when I just don't cook quite as much any more.  But really, I just need a place to let it all out.... mostly regarding our frustrations TTC (trying-to-conceive for those who don't hang out on internet chat boards talking about your uterus), but also about everything else that comes up in our lives.

We have been TTC for about 14 months, since May 2010.  Months of charting, multiple visits to the doctors, and a few drug therapies later, we have ourselves an appointment with a fertility specialist later this month.  We desperately want to have a child of our own, and hopefully we will have a plan to get there soon!

I really enjoy running, and am currently training for a few races this summer and fall.  I don't want to put my life on hold for what might be - I'll change my plans as needed.  Josh (my husband) and I enjoy watching sports, spending time outdoors, gardening, cooking, and giving our dog all the attention she desires.  We have one very spoiled puppy- I never knew just how much I could love a dog.

I'm not all that funny, and our lives are not all that interesting, but thanks for reading along and making me feel special!